Digesting the Elephant - Mental Game Part 1

Your Heart in the Muddy Middle

       Every race distance is uncomfortable, when you are trying.  Contrary to what we might hope for training will not negate pain. Training will increase the amount of discomfort you can endure, and the distance or speed at which you can go while experiencing that discomfort. But many of us short change the process because we are afraid of a certain pace or think we are losing motivation, and don’t know how to course correct. This usually happens in the middle of a workout, race, or around week 10 of a marathon build-up. How can we begin to train our hearts and brains to become strong alongside our bodies? How can you begin to listen to the part of you that signed up for the race, and not the part that is trying to talk you into hitting the snooze button?

        Every good sports movie has the same theme: An athlete or team has a huge goal, and if there is any hope of experiencing a physical breakthrough, there is also an internal battle that needs to fought. For instance, in Rocky Balboa, we are inspired by his accomplishment, but it isn’t just because he gets physically stronger. At the end of the movie, Rocky doesn’t even beat Apollo Creed, but our spirits sore with his because we see a man who has changed. Stallone teaches us, what Sports Psychologists the world over will attest to, emotional transformation and physical performance are not separate. Rather, they are rails on the same train track. Life changing results happen when physical testing and internal transformation are aligned and moving in the same direction.

We think a lot about how to manipulate training our bodies for maximum output, but where does the equally important inner transformation happen for the endurance athlete?

        I would contend that transformation happens in hardship. C.S. Lewis reminds us, “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” Hardship for the endurance athlete is in the middle of the season, the workout, or the race – the Muddy Middle, when everything in our body is questioning the sanity of our decision to continue. Questions of self-doubt and desire to quit seem to always surface in the hardest minutes of an endurance event. But they also come to roost in the heat of every challenging workout, early morning run, two-a-day, early bedtime, and meal decision I experience while training for that big race.

       It isn’t coincidental that these questions happen in the middle. Once we actually get going, few people quit a marathon on the first mile or the last mile. Most people quit in the middle because that is the point where the obstacle has become to big and the finish is still far away. In these moments, we seriously question ourselves and inner dialogue can go downward fast.

Where do the questions come from?

        While our legs are turning into jello sticks, our heart is questioning everything. Self-preservation is turning up the volume. Dr. Tim Noakes also calls this the Central Governor. Our mind-heart-spirit, the Central Governor, is in charge of the scale that is constantly weighing pain vs. reward - and then slowly puts more weight on the pain side of the scale while you aren’t looking. The Central Governor isn’t out to get you. It’s actually present to keep you alive for another day. However, Noakes and company have studied runners who exercise to exhaustion, and were instructed to do so until they had nothing left to give. But after blood tests and muscle biopsy they still have plenty of energy. Their Central Governor lied, to keep them alive. The Central Governor would tell them, “You’re empty.” When in reality they had a third of a tank to go till empty.

          How can we begin to tap into that last third tank of energy and ignore that ever present voice? Sports psychologists will tell us that we are constantly in a process of evaluating whether or not the effort or pain experienced is worth the reason why we are doing said activity. Therefore, as a runner, developing a robust reason for why you run can stave off discomfort.  

Why Do You Run?

       Because why we run is tested with every hard workout and race, it becomes important to understand why you run. This is the first question I ask every prospective athlete that wants me to coach them. I need to know why they want to run, and then I know how I can actually help them meet that why. Most of the time they mistakenly tell me the goal – To Qualify for Boston. Run my first Half-Marathon. Or lose 20 pounds. But that’s not why. I’ll then ask, “Why do you want to lose 20 pounds?” At first they think I’m attacking their somewhat shallow goal, but then we go through a few more Why questions  … “Why do you want to look better? Be stronger? Feel healthier? Run faster?” … We discover the true why.  It’s because the athlete wants to be a role model for his or her daughter. They want to inspire a family terminally ill family member. Everyone has their own unique why.

The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, it is in the contemplation of his beloved.

Victor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

       This is the thing I can remind them of when they are tired. By doing this, I am training them to remember why. For me, this is the fun part of coaching, but I also know they won’t reach their full potential as an athlete without remembering and knowing why they run.   

Developing Your Why

       Ask yourself, “Why do I run?” Then ask why at least 3-5 more times. Physically write down the answer you come up with. The next time you are faced with a lung searing workout, remember that Why/Purpose Statement. If it works, and you are compelled to keep going, you’ve got a good one. If it doesn’t work, then go ask yourself why a few more times. Because humans are innately driven by relationships, the most powerful why statement will frequently be tied to other people. For example, my why is directly connected to my desire to be an example for my kids, family, and community – the people in this would I love the most.   

         Here is how I tapped into my why this morning during a fast paced 13-miler. Before I went for my run and in the first miles, I reminded myself – I run to be an example to my children; to show them our family will try hard, test ourselves, grow, and won’t quit. Then, I also run to set the pace for my friends and community, to inspire others out of their comfort zone. Finally, I run to challenge myself towards consistency and perseverance, and nothing else challenges me to grow like throwing myself at the road for a couple hours. By the end of the run, I can’t even think straight enough to remember the wording of my “Why”, then I’ll focus in on a picture I have of my kids on the home screen of my cell phone. This stirs my heart towards love for them, and why I run – to be an example for those I love the most.

We are more likely to over-achieve when we are doing the event for someone else. Athletes in team sports experience this regularly.

        This is not using the love I have for my family and community to do something selfish. Instead, when I genuinely want to be an example for my kids, and I know that when I race and they are watching I want to have the mental and physical strength to be an example of perseverance in the midst of doing something hard. Then I know it isn’t just when I race I’m an example. It’s everyday that I come in sweaty from a hard effort and they see the look of satisfaction on my face that my actions speak loudest.

Talk TO Yourself, Not At Yourself          

       There is a final way you can attack the Central Governor. Simply call him/her out as a liar. The Central Governor is giving you all the reasons to quit. Verbally and mentally repeat something contrary. This is where mantras come in handy. During that same 13-miler, I began to tell myself (yes I talked to myself out loud), “You look good. You feel good.” I did this out loud because I needed to drown out that inner siren song that was trying to get me to cash it in. There is no coincidence that soldiers in training use chants to remind themselves of the same thing. The positive talk pushes back against that inner voice that needs to be ignored when we are pushing past a previous barrier. Simply, under which circumstances are you more likely to power to a great run and PR? Telling yourself “Hang on. Your tired, but you might make it.” OR Telling yourself, “You are strong. You are powerful.”

       I’ve paced several friends and pace groups at marathons. Around mile 2 of a 5K or mile 16 of a marathon, I forcefully tell them – “ONLY kind words from here on out. Don’t say anything to yourself you wouldn’t say to a friend.”

     Cliff hanger: There is another way to tackle the mental game in the Muddy Middle, but I will elaborate on it next time. It is actually the opposite of just about everything I told you. More on that next…